just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
