Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
