i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
