If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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