I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Terrible idea I love it
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