babies were throwing up all over the place
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
