it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
