My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
