I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
