So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
