dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize