Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
