so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
