sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
