I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
