people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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