you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
