my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize