Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
