i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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