sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
