New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
