ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
