A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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