This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
