he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
