The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
