i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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