If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
