i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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