I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
