Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
