i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
