is wine microwaveable?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
