I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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