I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
