i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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