im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
