After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
There was a lot of him and a little penis
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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