I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
