you guys were way drunker than both of me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
