So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
