he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
