My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
