the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
