Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
