If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
