super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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