'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
