i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
