I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i drank out of a bidet.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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