yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
