If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Randomize
