that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
