R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
even my farts smell like vagina
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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