WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
