I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize