I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Another day, another engagement, another cat
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
