Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We left the knife in your bed.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
