I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Less talking, more tequila
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
