singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
