Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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