how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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