Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
