Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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