so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
