I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Text me some of your sweat
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