you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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