I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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