don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
