Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
