I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
