I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
